kidzrback

Fire ... the final fronteir . . . on it's 3 year mission, these excruciating parables will test the limits of human endurance and suffering.

The story so far ... con(:)firefighter boaty graduated to ex(:)con(:)firefighter.

And now . . . later that year . . . as fires burn around them and aviation fuel a foot, ex(:)con(:)firefighter boaty and his lost love are re-kindling their relationship .... get it kindling ... which shows he is a true ex(:)con(:)firefighter!

Last year it was The Poseidon Adventure ...... this year Airport 75 ...........seriously?!?!
Next year what ........... The Towering Inferno ........ or how about Attack of the Killer Tomatoes!
Calling all writers out there ........ any original content writers????????????

I can't figure out who's more tortured . . . the people from From town or us!

In a galaxy far far away on con($)firefighter, how fitting they have an actual dumpster fire on this dumpster fire of a show.

On a happier note, with con($)firefighter boaty released into the natural world .... that should be it ... right, we laughed we cried ( mostly cried ) .. no more cons, no more con($)firefighters .... the end ... please?!?

A long time ago on con(%)firefighter, they actually said 'Welcome to the Lazarus Fire' like welcome to the White House, glad everyone's here at the Lazarus Fire, beer tent opens at noon.

The chief(%)non(%)con(%)firefighter seems to be having a problem hiding his sheer heart attack as he is staggering around like a drunkin' sailor ( must have hit the beer tent ).

Of course con(%)firefighter boaty had to do the con(%)firefighters carry to save the situation.

2 minutes to midnight on con(.$.)firefighter, with stalag 13 on the threat of being shut down, the con(.$.)firefighters and non(.$.)con(.$.)firefighters decide to have the annual drukin' barn dance con(.$.)firefighters ball. Just what you want to see, con(.$.)firefighters serving the hors d'oeuvres.

Well I',m not sure what else happened as I kinda nodded out but I did wake up in time to see con(.$.)firefighter boaty single handedly put out a 4 alarm fire and make a heart filled speech about .... ah nothing.

The fix is in ( a line from the movie 21 )
So, of all the combinations that could happen, the 3 chefs have one of each contestant in the finals.... fixed ......... yep.
I wouldn't bother with this but the same thing happened on masterchef a couple of years ago where each chef had one of their contestants in the final.
I guess there is a new category in TV land; 'Fixed reality show'
Shame...

Stardate 8699.0 on con(!@!)firefighter, first line in the show 'The inmates at stalag 13 are learning skills that will help them in life'', as they're being show digging and raking the forest ... huh???
As we all now know, boatys illegitimate child is boatys Illegitimate child but he is gonna be the best con(!@!)firefighter(!@!)con(!@!)father(!@!)figure he can be.

Of course there are the usual protestors trying to shut down stalag 13 and the con(!@!)firefighters arguing with the non(!@!)con(!@!)non(!@!)firefighter(!@!)protestors that they didn't wake up and become criminals. Even with a vehicle careening out of nowhere, con(!@!)firefighter boaty has won over the townsfolk with his musky odors and medical skills. Respect!

During the eclipse on con(!#!)firefighter, while the rest of the world is fleeing from impending doom from the solar eclipse, con(!#!)firefighter boaty and friends are collecting money from heaven. Yes, a drug dealer throws his cash out of a helicopter.

Well it looks like con(!#!)firefighter rudy using all his skills fooled everyone with the pillows under the blanket trick. This con(!#!)firefighter rudy is some kinda genius, they told him to stop .....and he didn't stop!! Genius I tells ya, genius!!!

Besides the twisted sisters arguing about stop signs, luggage, running, nothing happens.
It's really hard to describe the horrible banter in this show.

In the evening on con(#-#)firefighter, much to our dismay, boaty survived the ambulance accident. I just love it when non(#-#)con(#-#)firefighter ambulance driver has a tree stuck in him but they are chatting about boaty's misdeeds.

Meanwhile, the con(#-#)firefighters were rebelling demanding to go back to jail because they were afraid to fight the fire sharknado!
Of course everyone learns about boaty's Illegitimate child bearing years.

OK this was great, the con(#-#)firefighters are all trapped in mel's diner, so they are putting cardboard on the windows to keep out the fire sharknado!!
Just another disjointed bad episode .....

Seriously!?!? I know that writers are getting lazy .....but this was ridiculous! I guess I'm old enough to remember these ( badly done ) exact scenes from some other movie about a ship capsizing.

Suddenly on con(.)firefighter as boaty was planting seeds in the forest, some non(.)con(.)non(.)firefighter little girl runs into boaty's arms. With her being tight lipped about anything, boaty uses his powers of the crayon to delve into her mind and extract all the secrets. Remind me to tell my kidz never to run to someone in an orange jumpsuit.

Last 16.3 seconds on con(-^-)firefighter . . .Looks like con(-^-)firefighter boaty gets to go on walks, take deep breaths to calm himself .... ah the life of a con(-^-)firefighter.
Well, were back to the in-fighting between con(-^-)firefighter chiefs and even con(-^-)firefighter boaty's dad and non(-^-)con(-^-)non(-^-)firefighter drone pilot guy, of course we have boaty there to be the referee. Please have some respect for non(-^-)con(-^-)non(-^-)firefighter drone pilot guy.
Am I a bad person for hoping that they would not make it out of that fire? Maybe I am.....

This rel on con(:.:)firefighter ... Looks like con(:.:)firefighter boaty got caught sneaking food and drink into stalag 13 without the proper paperwork. You know, I've been having problems getting out of Tim Hortons without proper paperwork ..... which is why I always carry a spare set. But, I digest ..... boaty must stop all this jibber jabber and concentrate on doing good time, like that show with non(:.:)con(:.:)firefighter Jimmie 'JJ' Walker.

Portrait of a man searching for the license plate of a truck ..... a truck that knocked him ( and us ) into a nightmare. We'll call him boaty and he well lead us down to the deepest darkest corner of ....con(::)firefighter!
Next season on con(::)firefighter, I was gonna talk about how many times they say boaty in an episode but I've already done that and lost count at 36 in the first 3 minutes.

Prison lore says, if you save someones life, they owe you everything forever. Looks like boaty learned the law well and it save him from his watery grave. So boaty went from con(::)firefighter to con(::)ex-firefighter and back to con(::)firefighter where he can now live out his dream.

This show was 3 seasons too long. I will give the writers credit with not torturing us with 10 episodes.
There is one benefit, we will be able to see all of the actors working in your local 7 Eleven, Burger King and hit dog carts.
Kudos to a job .......... done!

Titanic, Hindenburg, Columbia, Concordia, Exxon Valdez .... this is the only way to describe this show. BTW, I'm writing this in braille because I poked my eyes out after watching this episode so I would not see anything so horrible again. My braille translator is writing this back.
I will say that I got a kick out of them calling the bad guy 'Sir'. Was his last name Sir? Mr. Sir?? Was his first name Sir? Was his first and last name Sir? Sir Sir? I just wish someone would call me sir without adding 'you're making a scene'.

Well I'll get back to listening to shows better than this piece of shi*!

You kinda forgot how bad a show is when it goes away for a bit. Well this show didn't fail to disappoint to disappoint.
I think most of us learned that most all fruit and veggies can generate an electric current. My house runs fully on 6 potatoes, 4 apples, 1 large watermelon and a celery stick ( this is for my internet )
Now it's interesting how a couple of potatoes can run a laptop without a converter ( DC to 120 VAC ). Then they start receiving messages from whoever from some satellite or wifi feed which hasn't been invented for about 10 billion years.

Now let's say you see a floating orb in front of you, what's your first question? 'What the heck if this thing' or 'Why are there 2 colors'?
The writers of this show must have bad dreams, wake up and write them down and there is next weeks episode.

Just when you think a show can't get any worse. OK, so get this, a guy and his girlfriend go hiking and somehow she gets hurt ( I don't really know how cause I zone out on really bad shows ), the guy in his infinite wisdom happens to have some tubing and needles to give her a blood transplant .... and of course she must have been wearing army dog tags so he know what blood type she had. Are you kidding me!!!
Hopefully FOUND will soon be LOST!

This show is truly terrible, besides the main character being super annoying, the guy in the basement ( MPW ) missing persons whisperer seems to know everything about a case by looking at a piece of paper. This is a really dumb premise.

I'm not sure where this show can go. If the big thing is she has her abductor locked in the basement and because he took her, he is now the expert on everything going missing. This is a bit of a joke. If she kept him down there and was torturing him or something. that would at least be something to watch.
I also hope that we are not going to have constant flashbacks about HER abduction but I fear this is already set in stone.

Now that the finale is done we should focus on the next season. It should be called, Masterchef: Pockets. All the contestants and the judges have to keep their hands in their pockets the entire season!
When this becomes a huge hit dare I say what the next season should be; Masterchef Crossed Arms Edition. You can figure out the rest.

I really had high hopes this season could actually go somewhere. Well this episode didn't. I mean, what happened?? When I saw the ending credits, I realized that nothing happened. This reminded me of season 1 when they did the same crap. I fear we are going to see a few more of these non-episodes before we get back to something moderately interesting.

I do like these alien invader type shows but these rebels ( as I call them ), you would think they would want to be a bit stealth instead of driving around with a big Masterchef logo on their vehicles.

This episode was absolutely shocking ..... I mean what was that ..... what is at the end of Joe Bazonga's arms ....... something so horrible, so hideous, wait ..... someone is whispering in my ear ............. it's his hands!!! Something I've never seen before! I thought he just had stumps.

What a great show. The Max guy reminds me of a modern day Columbo, and for you youngins out there that don't know who that is, do a Lycos search.

Over the years of watching Alone I've seen they have always had a problem describing our urban living areas in Canada.
Example: Toronto, Canada instead of Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Whereas in the States its; Miami, Florida, ( USA ) ( they wouldn't post the USA part )

Now well I do understand that we have some major differences here in Canada than the States let's take a look.
USA / Canada
City = City ( Ok well that's the same )
Country = Country ( Hmmmmmmmmmm that too )
State = Province ( ha .. that's it )

So here's what the geniuses at History did. They just eliminated the cities in the location descriptions.
For the States it's now: Florida, USA and Canada; Ontario, CAN.
Now, while that is more consistent, why can you not just post like this; City, State/Province, Country???
Maybe that teleprompter thing or whatever puts it on the screen can only do 2 words.

I really hope that's it, the end, fin!! I'm now gonna watch 'They Saved Hitlers Brain', something better than this show.
Just a note, don't name your kid Boyd ..... at least try Porter.

You know, if they had actually had the death be the death date, it would have made this crap show slightly exciting.
Who could have predicted that end would have happened ....wow ...... shocker....( sarcasm if you can't tell )

At least there was 2 things I learned from the final crap episode:
1 - When the Angel of Death comes for you ..... just yell at it ......... she'll go away.
b - When the above said Angel of Death wants to turn you into volcanic ash .... just say you did something nice ... boom you're saved.

I certainly wont miss the sayings 'ate-too-aters' or 'callings' or miss the characters Uni-brow, Zombies, Frost Face as they will slip into obscurity never to be heard from again.

The writers of this show should bow their heads in shame!